Etiquette
Advice from an old gamer — how narrators and players ought to behave at the table so everyone leaves it satisfied.
Overview
Here's some advice from an old gamer regarding etiquette. These are not rules in the mechanical sense — they are the unwritten contract between the people at the table that keeps the game running and worth showing up for.
On Homebrew Settings
Homebrew settings are a TON of work. If you have it within you as a narrator to put in all of this work, AND your players are the sort of people who would recognize and appreciate it, AND they will keep attending your game long enough to enjoy the fruits of all your world building, then you are one of a lucky few.
On Boxed Settings
There is no shame in boxed settings. Being contemptuous of boxed settings is toxically egocentric. The people at your table will not remember your game because of how self-made it was. They will remember how much fun they had.
You also don't need to show off by being “super creative” all the time. Rejecting ALL fantasy stereotypes in an effort to impress your players usually comes across as insecure or wacky. The stereotypes exist for a reason, and that reason is they are great fun when done right.
The Narrator's Job
A narrator's job is to entertain. That means challenging your players and telling an interesting story so that THEY leave the table satisfied. To do this you must put your ego aside.
Do not:
- Develop an adversarial relationship with your players.
- Railroad them.
- Punish their creativity.
- Inflict unnecessary hardship.
Players to the Narrator
Players have an obligation to the narrator. Being a good narrator takes a lot of work, and it is often a thankless task. Players who don't respect this effort do not deserve to be entertained.
| Obligation | What It Looks Like |
|---|---|
| Plot Hooks | Recognize and accept plot hooks offered by the narrator. |
| Attention | Take notes and pay attention to what is going on in the game. |
| No Rules Lawyering | Do not be an obnoxious rules lawyer. |
| Respect the Scene | Do not chat or make jokes while the storyteller is trying to set up a scene. |
| No Derailment | Refrain from chaotic, petulant, or violent acts that will obviously derail the plot. |
Players to One Another
Players have an obligation to one another. This means letting each character fulfill their “role” on the team without being overshadowed or marginalized.
- Share the spotlight.
- Encourage the quiet people to participate.
- Do not check out on your phone.
- Pay attention to what is going on.
- Take notes.
- Keep track of treasures and resources.
- Encourage good roleplay.
- Behave respectfully.
- Demonstrate teamwork.
- Do not hog all the pizza.
If you can do all of these things then congratulations: you are a perfect player.
Know Your Role
If you are a shy player and don't intend to do a lot of talking at the table, please don't pick a high charisma character and then try to play the “face” of the party. If the other players at the table are loud and overbearing, and they are playing low charisma characters, you probably won't be happy in the long run.